Dirty 30

Jul 17, 2018
3 min read

I truly can't believe I'm in a whole new decade!! Wow! Its truly mind blowing to me. Im really 30. I can honestly say I don't know how to feel about it. Its been a month and I still forget I'm not 29 anymore , its almost like I'm in denial. Being 30 for me mean't that I was supposed to have life together. 30 to me mean't that I would be ready to take on the world, Im so not ready!! I've literally can't make one decision these days with out changing my mind, its like I can't decided on even the smallest things. What has turning 30 done to me? I used to thrive on my decision making skills, I used to know what I wanted when I wanted it, now I'd rather ask someone else what they think I should do.... I've become overwhelmed with making the next moves in life.To be completely honest I think turning 30 scared me! I literally feel like time is getting away from me and I have to hurry up and get it together before time runs out! We as people have to stop putting so much pressure on ourselves! We have to trust that wherever we are in life is where we are supposed to be. For me I've always had big dreams and plans for myself, I've always known I'd change the world somehow.... but why is it taking so long? or is it? what has changed me to believe I still can't ? Why now do I feel like I'm losing control? Social media has us all going crazy! We've allowed our phones and computers to tell us what success is, we've let the latest ig model define what beauty is, we've let the internet dictate how happy we are! Its sad and I'm guilty. Im guilty of scrolling down my time line and feeling like I must be doing something wrong because I don't have thousands of followers, Im guilty because I measured my level of success with how many followers I had. The truth is we all are playing a part in the bigger picture. We are all a piece of the puzzle, so we all can't be the same! Every one can't be an instagram model, every one can't be a beauty blogger, everyone can't do the same things! We all have to do our part ...what ever that may be! As I sit back and think about life I realized that I have changed some peoples lives, I have influenced others and I am successful! I have people that look up to me, follow me. In my world , and in my life I have helped people feel better about themselves and I do it every day without even knowing it! Im just going to take this time to encourage myself and anyone else out there that may feel like they are tired of making moves that are not getting them anywhere quick...DON'T give up!! You are doing everything in the time it needs to be done! Keep your head up. Give your self a break from social media, it can be good but it can also be toxic as well. You are a beautiful soul and you are needed to complete the story!

In honor of my 30th birthday I did a photo shoot!! check it out down below!!